Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Ultimate Dysfunctional Super Group

First off, if you don't know what I super group is, I feel sorry for you... but anyways, a super group is basically when a bunch of people from different 'big' bands get together and form a new group, which then becomes known as a super group. Some examples are:

Blind Faith - This band consisted of Eric Clapton (Yardbirds, Cream), Ginger Baker (Cream), Steve Winwood (Traffic) and Ric Grech (Family).
Temple of the Dog - This band consisted of members of Soundgarden and Mother Love Bone (whose members would later create Pearl Jam). Most notable song released was "Hunger Strike". Of note, Pearl Jam was formed AFTER Temple of the Dog. Eddie was actually in town to audition for the lead singer position in Pearl Jam when they invited him in to help sing on Hunger Strike.
Asia - This progressive rock supergroup consisted of former members of the bands Yes, King Crimson, Emerson Lake and Palmer and The Buggles. Most known for a few charting singles such as "Only Time Will Tell" and "Heat of the Moment"

With the supergroup concept now fully explained with examples, I now present my idea for The Dysfunctional Supergroup! This group will consist of very, how should we say, unique individuals who are known for being moody and / or eccentric. One of the interesting ideas of my concept is that every position will have a backup since it's very well possible that someone might just throw a hissy fit and leave or come down with some medical emergency. Without further ado, I give you:

The Ultimate Dysfunctional Supergroup (aka TUDS)

Lead Singer / Keyboards - Axl Rose
Axl Rose is the lead singer for Guns N' Roses with a very distinctive voice. Axl's temperment and general aloofness is very well documented. G N' R's Chinese Democracy album has been in the works for something like 10 years, has cost some record company 10 million dollars and still has no release date.

Lead Singer (backup) - Sebastian Bach
Sebastian Bach is most known for his stint as the lead singer for Skid Row, but in his defense, I do believe that he had a solo career as well (including his reoccurring role on the sappy sitcom Gilmore Girls). Sebastian also has a unique voice and is a bit moody and I think he would make a great backup. Though, just the fact that he is playing second fiddle might make him just flat out not show up at all as well. He doesn't play keyboards as far as I know but I'm willing to overlook that in light of the existence of a SECOND lead singer (!!!).

Lead Singer / Keyboards / Disco Ball - Dennis DeYoung
Dennis DeYoung is most notable for being one of the lead singers in the band Styx. You know, the Mr. Roboto guy. Dennis ended up leaving Styx because of a disease where lights made him melt or something. He also steered the band in the direction of creating the Kilroy Was Here (Mr. Roboto) concept album which, other than the high selling singer 'Mr. Roboto' didn't do anything and the tour which tried to stage the entire album like an opera bewildered all their fans. But that's beside the fact. He's a fantastic singer. In order to protect him from his light illness, Dennis DeYoung will be performing on stage in a black tent. The tent will also have small mirrors on it and will be on a revolving platform, which will basically simulate a disco ball when the spotlight shines on the tent. How about that! Also note, that with the inclusion of another lead singer / keyboardist, I am putting together the best head-to-head concert since Billy Joel and Elton John toured together. Ohhhhh.... I am a GENIUS!!!

Lead Singer / Keyboards / Disco Ball (backup) - Perry Farrel
Perry Farrel was the lead singer for Jane's Addition and Porno for Pyros. He also the co-creator of the Lollapalooza festival. He is an interesting character to say the least. I'm not sure if he plays keyboards or not, but it doesn't matter because I'm sure he'd figure it out. If he doesn't, he can play bongos for all I care. Also, Perry will not be performing under a tent, but will have a black body suit with mirrors attached to it so he can fulfill his disco ball responsibilities.

Lead Guitar - Vinnie Vincent
Vinnie Vincent is a former of guitarist for Kiss and Vinnie Vincent Invasion. Vinnie was with Kiss when they took off the makeup. No denying that the guy has talent. However, he proved difficult to work with. He sued Kiss when he thought he was due more royalities and lost. Gene was willing to let bygones be bygones and asked Vinnie to help the write material for the Kiss Revenge album. Again, Vinnie got mad and sued Kiss. He has since led a very secluded life. Some have said that he has had a sex-change operation, but I'll believe that when I see it. Actually, I'd rather not see that. Maybe I'll put Vinnie in a tent as well. Or maybe in a giant translucent hamster ball. He'd be rolling around on stage. If Axl got mad at him, he could kick Vinnie (and his ball) into the crowd. Awesome!

Lead Guitar (backup) - David Lindley
I don't know anything about David really. I did a search on 'eccentric guitarist' and his name came up. No lie. He is usually know as a 'Lead Guitarist for Hire' kinda studio musician who has worked for Jackson Browne, Linda Ronstadt, Rod Stewart, et al. He is also a multi-instrumentalist playing such odd stringed intruments as oud, cittern, bouzouki, saz, and cümbüş. He also plays other more normal instruments such as lap steel guitar, banjo and violin. I just hope that Vinnie skips out on at least ONE show just so that David can start playing a bad ass cittern solo.

Lead Guitar - Dave Navarro
Dave was in Jane's Addiction and Red Hot Chili Peppers. The RHCP gig came his way, I believe, when John Frusciante went off into heroin never never land for a while (John has since cleaned up). Um... yeah. He was married to Carmen Electra and a couple other people. He just seems to be a bit... odd to me, so he's in the line up as a lead guitarist. BTW, I had to put both Dave and Vinnie as Lead Guitarist 'cause one of them probably would cry if not referred to as 'lead guitarist'.

Lead Guitar (backup) - Eddie Van Halen
Everyone knows Eddie. And if you don't, I feel sorry for you. His antics as of late are reason enough to include him, at the very least, in the backup lead guitarist spot. That whole thing about getting cancer because of his metal pick and not because of the 5 packs a day he smoked alone is enough for me. Maybe it was the picks, who am I to say. If Dave does decide to not to show up for a gig, I think I'm going to put a clause in Eddie's contract that says he has to shave his head. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I can.

Bass Guitar - William "Bootsy" Collins
Bootsy is the man. He's played as part of James Brown's backing band The JB's as well as Funkadelic, Parliament and Boosty's Rubber Band. Hailing from Cincinnati, it's nice to have a fellow Ohioan in the mix. Just the fact that he was booted from James Brown's group for basically tripping on acid while on stage should be enough reason to add Mr. Collins to the fold. Also, his clothing attire is truly a bit on the zany side. The perfect bassist for The Ultimate Dysfunctional Supergroup if you ask me.

Bass Guitar (backup) - Flea
Flea (born Michael Peter Balzary) is the bassist for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He just seems like a odd one to me. No doubt that he is talented. He played trumpet in the Los Angeles Junior Philharmonic Orchestra and because a very good jazz trumpet player. Honestly, I picked Flea because I secretly hope that if he does get on stage, that he demands that he gets to play a trumpet solo in the middle of a song, or even better, insists on playing all his bass parts on the trumpet. That would just be cool... to me.

Drums - Tommy Lee
Tommy is most know for his long tenure in Motley Crue. Tommy seems to be a bit... something. I don't know the words for it. Sure of himself? Full of himself? Who knows. He was married to Pamela Anderson. He's had numerous weird drum rigs up on stage. One that spun around and one that hovered over the crowd. Maybe I could put him in a gyroscope, space shuttle training rig. And not for one song, but for the whole gig. His playing would get a bit loopy towards the end of the show.

Drums (backup) - Jizmak Da Gusha
I originally had this spot slated for Lars Ulrich, but in his later years, he's seemed to have mellowed out. So instead, I've given the backup drummer spot Jizmak Da Gusha of GWAR. I need no other reason to include him other than he plays in GWAR. That's reason enough for me.

Sorry that the bios of the players petered out at the end, but this really was more to put together a band based around Axl and Dennis DeYoung. If Frank Zappa or Sun Ra were still around, I would have found positions for them as well. In fact, anyone who has played for Zappa would probably be able to fill in any of the positions.

If you have any other people in mind that might be a better fit in the back (or at the very least, a secondary backup), let me know. I'd love to add to the lineup.

Others I considered for the band: Lars Ulrich - drummer for Metallica, John Frusciante - guitarist for Red Hot Chili Peppers, Carmine Appice - drummer for various bands, Hank Williams Jr. - vocalist for himself, David Coverdale - vocalist for Whitesnake, Chip Z'Nuff - bassist of Enuff Z'nuff (his bass only has two strings!), Van Morrison - vocalist, Eric McFadden - vocalist, guitarist, entertainer.


Bald Man Tom said...

You have way, way too much time on your hands :P

Todd S. said...

Dude...Zappa and Sun-Ra. Hell yeah!